13) Pepsi

Sit down and let me tell you a story, about how I fell in love, again

It isn't a long story

About 8 hours long, that's all

But that's enough for it to be a love story

And it's called Pepsi

Now, it's a Saturday morning, and I'm minding my own business, as I do, having a Cappa and reading the papers outside Caffe Nero, as I do

And I'm watching the world go by, and the cars go through, Barnes, when one of the cars (a rather nice one, though I'm not very into cars) pulls up

And a rather nice girl (and I'm very into rather nice girls) gets out

And she's cooly blonde, and cooly beautiful, and dressed cooly casual, and she has a small tattoo in the small of her back

Which is cool as well

And she goes into the cafe, and then comes out and sits at the table next to mine

So there we are

This is quite interesting

And then one of the baristas comes out and hands the girl a chocolate and says "Happy Birthday", with a smile

So now I know it is her birthday and she is so sweet she can charm a barista in a nano-second

So I say, "Nice car, what is it?"

And she told me later that if I'd asked any other question she wouldn't have spoken to me

So that was a good start

It was an old TVR (or Trevor as I explained), and she was Pepsi. And it was her birthday, 32 I think, and she was on her own, on the way back from her parents, on her way to pick up the rather powerful motorbike she had ordered for herself, as a treat

And she no immediate plans

And neither, suddenly, did I

This was going well

So we started to talk

And we just couldn't stop

And she listened to my CD, and laughed, and looked disapproving but forgiving when I knew she would. And she looked at all my photos and loved all the right ones. And she read 'Mandy' & 'Christine' and loved them too

Now I have to say: if you are a rather beautiful girl, and you like my voice, and my photos, and my stories then, by definition, I am starting to like you a lot

I have absolutely no idea, of course, what you're thinking, or feeling, about me...

And Pepsi (its her nickname, her real name was Nichola) believes in fate

And I say, that's why you're sitting here

And we both know something is happening

And we both like it happening

So we...

...have another coffee

And we move into the back area, because the sun has moved while we've sat for so long

And we move like ballet dancers through the crowded cafe

And now she's got her dog from the car

And the dog is gorgeous too

And she charms everyone at every table with her svelte, friendly grace

And everybody is smiling because this girl is just so beautiful, and sweet, and funny and...

And I must say I thought this was going rather well

And her family called her "Chicken", but I've learnt not to count my chickens, with girls

Because there is one problem

The word "Boyfriend" is slipped into the conversation

Now I must say I'm beginning to hate that word

Not out of jealousy, I'm long beyond that

Nor out of competition. I can cope with that

But out of a growing realisation of just how many bright beautiful girls have, not boyfriends, of course they have boyfriends, but

BAD

Boyfriends

And the more beautiful they are the more likely it seems that their boyfriends are

REALLY REALLY

BAD

And, for whatever reason, they STAY with the bad boyfriends

And the Bad Boyfriends get rid of me

Pronto

And I haven't worked out the solution, yet

So, Pepsi is telling me about her boyfriend, with some distaste, and her boyfriend - let's call him "Creep" (seems like a good name to me) - hasn't organised ANYTHING for her birthday

And she's still waiting for him to tell her if he'll DEIGN to meet her, at all, on her birthday

And for one bright minute I think she's going to say "Fxxk him" and go to lunch with me

But she doesn't, quite

Instead she say "I could talk to you all day"

And I say "I could talk to you all day too" (which is not something I often say to Estate Agents, for that is what she was)

And she says "But I have to meet my friends"

And I say "And I have to see Amy and Sharon"

And she says "Here's my number", and punches it in

"Call me when you can join us. I'm not going to tell "Creep" (my name not hers). He can like it or lump it"

And on that, promising, note she goes

After spending three delightful hours over two cappas with me



Wow

Let me say that again

WOW

I am, a little, in love


So I go to see Amy and Sharon, then call Pepsi, and agree to meet on the Green in Chiswick

And its her birthday. So I get her a little something

Nothing too heavy

One white rose

One card (picture of dog - quite innocent)

& One Eric Clapton CD (she's never heard him)

I thought that would be appreciated

So we meet on the Green

And she's on her own

And she is so happy to see me

We greet, like friends and lovers do

Then "Creep" arrives and, guess what, he is not so happy to see me

At all

Then her other friends arrive. And there's a nice girl who works with Pepsi. And a nice guy who works with Creep. And me. And that was her birthday treat.

And she deserved better

Especially better than Creep

Now I have nothing against men. Some, well a few, of my best friends are men. But I can't stand men like Creep. And there seem to be a lot of them about. And they give men a bad name, and girls a bad time. And I don't like that. So here goes

Creep was a black hole of self loathing who tried to suck everyone around him into his orbit. But he wasn't much of a hole, and didn't have much pull. So he had just three satellites. The boy, the girl and Pepsi

And because of her incredibly low self esteem, caused by a domineering father, she had got locked in his orbit. Which is reversible, in time. But not, in the short term. Which was all the time I had. And that is incredible sad, but something I'm getting used to

So I stayed until 5:00, when I had to go to Oxford. And we bought Rose, and food, and played frisbee

All except Creep, who didn't do anything, or say anything, or contribute anything at all to his girlfriend's birthday

Except wait, for me to be gone

And at one point Pepsi engineered, carefully, our bring alone together, and out of earshot

And she said "Honestly, what do you think of him?"

And I said "Honestly?"

"Yes"

"Get a thousand miles away from that pile of bile, as fast as you can"

And she understood, and nodded


And I left


And she ticked and said "Talk tomorrow, Thanks for today  x"

Then "Thanks for yesterday. Talk later. x"

And we talked on the phone. And I said I was worried he would take 'me' out on 'her'

And then


"Honest as I always am, trying to sort out my life, head and heart  right now and listening to the latter two. Was good to talk to you XXX"

And then

"Hi Peter. Don't think this is a good idea. (Creep) and I are hectic at the moment. Hope Oxford is as cool as Clapton. All the best x"

And then

"Sorry, not happy to continue this contact. I could be reading too much into it. but...Hope you're OK with that"

The Creep had struck

And I said "I met a girl on her birthday. She seemed a bit down. I tried to cheer her up. Seemed to work at the time. Don't read too much into it"

Which wasn't what I felt

Which was a wave of sadness that I'd failed the Pepsi challenge

Just what I thought I should say...


peterhero 2006