27) Angel

27) Angel

A bit weird (i before e?)

And she was STILL an hour late when she FINALLY arrived

(That’s starting a story in media res, folks

Just like Homer

No, not Simpson

Doh!)

LondonAngel doesn’t seem to know London too well

Not surprising as she Actually lives in Nottingham

London wannabee

So after going the WRONG way down Shaftesbury

And managing to get a cabby LOST

On Old Compton St

She breezed in

And it was cool

Because she was beautiful

Tall, long hair, and even longer legs

Just like her photo

That is her above (I’ve asked permission)

And she relaxed completely when she saw me

At the best table at Café Boheme

And THEN she understood why I had INSISTED on holding the table

To get the best view of the street theatre

The best theatre

Bar Soho Theatre

From which I’m barred, probably

Ask the Assistant Associate Director

He won’t speak to me

It happens

Go figure

And I had white wine waiting

But it was too warm now

So she called the wine waiter

And whined

And got another

And she had a chicken sandwich

And I had whitebait

So, lunch wasn’t expensive

It was cool

And she was GORGEOUS

An Angel indeed!

So, while I went to get the fare money

Which was only fair

And ALL she asked for

(Paula, and others, please note)

She started to read my stories

And

Could

Not

Stop

She Devoured them

And all the COOL guys in their COOL clothes and v.v. COOL cars (I have a bike) wondered

“Who

Was

This

Guy?

With the cool, beautiful, girl

Half his fxxking age!”

And WTF was she reading that so absorbed  her that she TOTALLY IGNORED THEM!

And I thought that was pretty cool

And so did she

And so did they, to their credit

“Fair play mate” their looks said

“Older guys rule”

They were Italian, of course, so used to it

Unlike les Anglais

Anyway, Angel wanted to be a stylist

So I said she could be a stylist/costume designer for the peterhero films if Natasha liked her (whatever happened to Natasha – IDK)

And she said films neede costumiers

And I said Mandy and Kate and Julia didn’t

They needed street fashion

Topshop

Zara

Warehouse

But she wouldn’t listen

English girls tend not to

Their loss

Not mine

And I asked if she liked Soho

And she said

And I quote

With UTTER DISBELIEF

“I prefer Selfridges”

U

(Sound of jaw hitting table)

Which I found a little….

ODD!

Preferring fridges to people

And shops to people

And BUYING to TALKING

But, hey, that’s English girls for you…

Their loss, not mine

So, anyway, I said I had a plan

Improvised, not pre-planned

(You can’t pre-plan Soho

Especially with girls who are ALWAYS late)

So we left

And STRODE through Chinatown

As if we owned it

Which we did, at that precise moment in time

And everything was cool

And she was “So Excited!”

So, anyway. We get to the theatre

And I go in to collect the tickets for “Chicago”

Which I had, thoughtfully, booked earlier

Being prepared is, after all, one of my mottos

And she said she was just going to stay outside and have a quick fag

And I said “cool”

And I came out with the tickets

And she’d gone….

Which was a LITTLE bit surprising

And not a LITTLE bit disappointing

But, hey..

I don’t seem to have had too much luck with theatre tickets lately

Or, in fact, ANY

So, I didn’t go in, of course

It wouldn’t have worked

And I was a little annoyed

So I went home, alone

As usual

And got back to find REGGAE NIGHT

At the Vestry

Which was cool

And the next day I got a text

“I am fine! So sorry. Just felt a bit weird. Xx”

Which was a bit weird if you ask me

And a bit of a shame

For both of us, actually

But

That’s English girls for you

WEIRED

© peterhero 2012