15) Santa

(Who came twice that Xmas)

Sit down and let me tell you a story. It's a Christmas story, which is appropriate. And, appropriately enough, it's called Santa

It was the last week of December, 2005. I was recently divorced and I had no-one to play with as everyone was away, and I was a bit down, to be blunt, and a bit bored

So I went to see Santa, which was nice

I found Santa in the local paper. But not in the Personal Column. She was in the classified section. Under Personal Services

Santa was a 'lovely Asian girl available locally. Call 0208 1234 567'

Santa was a masseur

Well, Santa was also a prostitute

She sounded lovely on the phone

So I went to see her

Now, I must admit, I felt a bit odd in the back of the cab. I'd never been with a prostitute. Indeed, despite the fact that I had worked in Soho for years, in the heart of the red light district, and despite the fact that I had stayed in hotels all round the world, I had never knowingly been approached by anyone offering anything remotely tempting

Which had always struck me as a bit surprising

The sex industry, it seemed to me, was badly managed, badly positioned and badly marketed

Especially the most basic sex industry - having sex with someone for money

Why? Because, frankly, I should have sex with a prostitute before. It would have done me a lot of good on occassion, and probably taught me a few things when I was young, and been better than watching porn or drinking alone in late night bars

But I hadn't. Because it was so badly positioned and marketed that the 'product' had never been 'positioned' in  a way that that was attractive, timely or readily available

And what sort of service industry does not want to attract the high income, professional classes. Especially ones staying ibn hotels, on expenses?

Bad marketing

Whereas Santa was attractive, a very attractive Korean girl as it turned out, well positioned, in  a nice flat in Chiswick, and well marketed, as my presence proved

And before you say, 'A Prostitute, Peter! How tacky' (as I know some of you will) let me tell you something

I had been married for 20 years

But hadn't had any marital sex for the last 12 of those long, long years (her call, don't ask)

And yet, despite working in the totally totty stuffed advertising industry, I hadn't had any affairs, one-nighters or knee tremblers with the many very sexy girl or women I worked with. None

And while all my peers ended up trading in their wives for younger models, or PAs more usually, I hadn't

I'd sat opposite gorgeous girls in Blues and they'd lean forward and look into my eyes and say, coyly.

"So, have you had many affairs, Peter?"

Which means, would you like one with me?

& "So, what sort of girl do you loke, Peter?"

Which means, do you want to fuck me?

& "So, what's you favourite position, Peter?"

Which means how do you want to fuck me?

And I hadn't

Because of my boys

And because I didn't want to mess with these lovely girl's heads

And because I was their boss, usually, so it wasn't fair

Not even when they then deep tongue kissed me at the table (Ali)

Or opened their shirts and asked me to suck their breasts (Wang)

Or just put their hand on my crotch under the tablecloth, and squeezed (Debbie)

Or just shoved their hand down my trousers, and squeezed (Sarah)

Or sat on my lap and said they wanted to fuck me right there, and then, in my office (Flip)

Admirable self restraint wouldn't you agree?

But helped by my libido being buried so deep that it was hard to get it to the suface at short notice, even with the help of a girl's warm hand

But now, divorced, I had my libido back. With 12 years of reserves in stock

Which perhaps explains something about Peterhero

And why I came to Santa's and sat sipping the wine I had thoughtfully provided with a beautiful Korean girl, having a Happy Xmas, and almost a Chinese New Year

And, after a while, there was a short, amicable negotiation and we go to the bedroom

And she unwraps her present to me

And I like what I see

And then she unwraps my present to her

And she like what she sees, a lot

(Editor's note: I have read that Korean men, on average, have the smallest penises in the world. So when a Brit man fucks a Korean girl it is like a Brit girl being fucked by a Jamaican or Congolese man (They vie for the other end of the league table). IE A Very Attractive Prospect. And when a Korean girl sees a well endowed Brit man, which I have been reliably informed I am, well....Lipsmacking it would seem)

So Santa starts doing something very pleasant to me

And then I start to doing something to her which she certainly seems to find very pleasant indeed

And lovely Santa is quite happy to go on long after the allotted time

Exceeding customer expectations, good marketing again

But eventually I say, 'I have to go' (football was starting, you understand)

And Santa says, 'Don't go, Peter, keep fucking me good'

Which did my ego no harm at all

And then, 'And stick your finger up my bumhole, please'

Which was an unexpected Xmas bonus

And Santa came again

Down her warm, wet, chimney

And I came too

We came

Together

Which is always nice

Holding her tight warm body

With her lush black hair on my face

And her tongue in my ear

And her small, perfect breasts on my chest

And my cock moving in her tight little pussy

And vice versa

And with one finger gently moving in her tight little arse

Which was lovely, if new territory for me

And I lost a lot of my sexual frustration

Ans little of my loneliness

Which is a good thing, as is the whole sex industry in some ways (I stress some ways)

A social service really, as Tessa Jowell pointed out

It costs the State less than the NHS

And it's not free at the point of delivery

But one always had the option of going private

And then I do go home, havbing missed the first half (0:0, so worth it) and I was feeling quite a lot better. No a LOT better

For I had given

And I had received

And it is better to give than to receive

And I had given even better than I had got

Which is what Christmas is all about

Isn't it?

Merry Christmas

peterhero x